Byron Bernstein, a popular Twitch streamer who went by the name “Reckful,” died on Thursday. He was 31.
While exact details of his death have yet to be released, his ex-girlfriend, Blue Madrigal (aka Blue Goes Mew), alleged via Twitter that it was an apparent suicide.
“I’m at a loss right now. Something I’ve been scared of happening for so long happened. I can’t stop crying. It’s so painful,” she said in a series of tweets. “Someone I loved killed themselves. I wish I could have said something to prevent it. I keep thinking there’s something I could have said or done… I wish I reached out more.”
“Thank you to everyone who has reached out. I wish he could see how much he is loved and all of the sweet things people have said to honour his memory,” she continued. “Remember, your words/tweets affect people, even the famous people. Please be kind.”
Someone I love killed themselves. I wish I could have said something to prevent it… whyyyyyy
— Blue (@BlueGoesMew) July 2, 2020
Madrigal also shared a video of her and Bernstein, writing, “Byron, I wish I could have helped you. We all do. I’m so sorry I couldn’t. Thank you for being a part of my life. Love you always.”
Byron, I wish I could have helped you. We all do. I’m so sorry I couldn’t. Thank you for being a part of my life. Love you always. pic.twitter.com/S7UoNGwpmM
— Blue (@BlueGoesMew) July 2, 2020
News of Bernstein’s death broke just a few hours after he posted a series of tweets about his mental health, and after he seemingly proposed to his ex-girlfriend, Becca Cho.
“I know I’ll always be a little too crazy… and this is proof… but at least you’ll never be bored. Will you marry me, becca?” he tweeted. “DO NOT make her feel pressured to say yes, i am completely insane here. I have not seen her in 6 months. The reason for the post is I know she’s the one I want forever, and I wanted her to know my commitment is real.”
i know i’ll always be a little too crazy… and this is proof… but at least you’ll never be bored
will you marry me, becca? pic.twitter.com/Xpmz3IlRqv
— Reckful (@Byron) July 2, 2020
Following Bernstein’s death, Cho shared a lengthy message to TwitLonger, titling it, “RIP July 2, 2020.”
“This won’t be long and won’t be eloquent, I’m still processing. I didn’t see the proposal until it was too late but that doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t able to be there for him,” she said. “He was amazing. He taught me how to have fun, to experience more, and challenged me to try to be more than what I was. He was larger than life, too big for this world.”
“He brought me to realize that I knew NOTHING about depression, NOTHING about mental health issues. I had this vague idea of what it was and embarrassingly thought that I could help with trivial bullsh*t,” she continued. “We loved each other but it came with its difficulties. I was insanely insecure when it came to him, I couldn’t even recognize myself. I don’t feel that I was able to be the person that he needed in his life.”
RIP july 2, 2020
Read: https://t.co/B70pWw96iR
— Becca (@BeccaTILTS) July 2, 2020
Cho concluded her post by arguing that “we need better support for those with mental needs” in this country.
“I remember Byron telling me how traumatized he was when he had the authorities called on him for being at risk of suicide. Anyone that knew him knew how much it scared and affected him. THIS CAN’T BE HOW PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT THE PLACES THAT SHOULD BE KEEPING THEM SAFE. HOW THE F**K IS THAT OK? Friends don’t feel that it’s the right move to call for help when they know that the mental institutions they get sent to treat them like animals incapable of understanding. F**K that stupid a** logic song about the hotlines.”
“My heart hurts. I’m sure many of yours do as well,” she added. “Byron just wanted everyone to be friends, so let’s be that for each other during these difficult times. I will do my best to live as the best human I can be, byron. I promise. Rest in peace.”
See more tributes below:
My favourite memories of Reckful will always be the time we spent together hanging out at events, in hotels & exploring in places around the world.
Incredibly hard to accept that he's gone. RIP Byron . pic.twitter.com/lhJx0IJTXh
— Isaac CB (@RiotAzael) July 2, 2020
Only a few legends ever existed on Twitch
Reckful was one of them
Inspiration for so many, and for myself
Rest In Peace @Byron
Thanks for the tea last year.. it meant more to me than you know. I felt like you finally accepted me as your friend
I find myself frozen rn..
— Jake'n'Bake @ LA (@jakenbakeLIVE) July 2, 2020
Only a few legends ever existed on Twitch
Reckful was one of them
Inspiration for so many, and for myself
Rest In Peace @Byron
Thanks for the tea last year.. it meant more to me than you know. I felt like you finally accepted me as your friend
I find myself frozen rn..
— Jake'n'Bake @ LA (@jakenbakeLIVE) July 2, 2020
I will always be grateful to Reckful for the advice about streaming and our many conversations about life. I'm sure I'm not alone amongst your friends in wishing I could have done more.I hope you are in a better place now. Rest In Peace @Byron
— Hikaru Nakamura (@GMHikaru) July 2, 2020
Every since our WoW raids, I have always celebrated your success. I thought one day we would share our experiences living these lives in parallel as old dudes over some beer. RIP Byron
— Kripparrian (@Kripparrian) July 2, 2020
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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